Some tips on staying healthy AND the very first ambuslap award.

Today I'll be discussing a few tips on how to stay healthy, even if what you're eating isn't. I'll also be covering steps you can take that will help you stay health, such as quitting smoking, and how you can achieve them. Also, at the end of today's post, I'll be issuing the very first Ambuslap Award. First thing's first, though. How does one stay- or even get- healthy?


If you're at a healthy weight- that is, your Body Mass Index (see below) indicates that you're at a healthy weight in comparison to your height- you can stay there by walking, even if it's just walking at a good pace around and around wal-mart, or preforming other moderate exercise for 30 to 60 minutes a day. If you're underweight and want to gain healthily, then 30 minutes a day of moderate exercise is right for you. If you're overweight and want to lose weight, 60 to 90 minutes of moderate exercise is right for you. It sounds like a lot, right? Not necessarily- while according to the CDC, regular exercise is the only medically proven effective method for achieving sustained weight loss- the good news is that exercise doesn't mean you have to be a body builder. Moderate exercise can be just going for a walk while listening to your iPod or MP3 player of choice, going and playing paintball or airsoft twice or thrice a week, taking the dog for a walk, or even just walking around the mall (without stopping)- anything that's going to get your heart working. You don't even have to do it every day- you can see results with as little as two or three times a week.

Exercise is one of the most important and beneficial things you can do for yourself- not only for those who need to lose weight, but also for those of us in a relatively healthy state. Almost exactly opposite to the effects of cigarettes and alcohol abuse, exercise has been shown, in study after study after study, to improve the body's abilities to function normally. A wide range of diseases can be wrestled under control with regular exercise, and it's even been shown to improve your brain-power! Even if you don't need it to get out of an unhealthy state, exercise can make you healthier. Methods of exercising can vary from person to person- according to whatever they're looking to get out of it-, be it predominantly strength training for the body-builder, mostly cardio for those looking to maintain their frame with smaller endurance-type muscle, or about a 25/75% mix of both (the strength training is the 25% and comes first to burn up your muscles' sugar stores, the cardio comes second as the 75% and should be at least 60 minutes) for those looking to get fit. Even if you're overweight and can't run too well, just walk. You see, most of your cardio workout results are going to come from distance, not speed. Running 3 miles in 30 minutes (6 mph) will provide roughly the same results as walking 3 miles in 60 minutes (3 mph). The only major difference is that running will prepare you for more running, where walking generally won't. For most people, however, cardiovascular exercise (walking/running/etc) is more appropriate for them than strength training, though you should never have completely one or the other.

If you find that you just can't avoid eating fast food or junk food and you find it's making you pack on the pounds, here are a few tips that I know from personal experience will really help you out. First of all, instead of soda or sweet tea, drink water- a large fast food soft drink has nearly four times more sugar in it than a monster energy drink, and most places probably don't go light on the sugar in their tea, either- not to mention outrageous amounts of sodium. Second, when you order the meal, make sure you tell them you want a small meal, since most places simply assume a medium. The small box of fries and small drink (should you choose not to skip on the soft drink for a larger, more filling bottle of water) can fill you up just fine- if you don't believe me, just try it out and see for yourself. Third, avoid the sauces or dressings; with as little salad I see people adding to their blue cheese dressing, it's not at all an overstatement to say they'd be doing themselves- and their heart- a favor if they just stuck with the simple cheeseburger. A shocking amount of fat, calories, and sodium WILL- not can, will- be packed into a little bit of dressing or, yes, dipping and/or sandwich sauces. For those of you who are reading this and feeling good about just sticking with ketchup, think again- just a little bit of catsup is PACKED with sugar and other badness with merely a cameo appearance from the humble tomato. So, if you know your meal is going to come with sauces, condiments (including ketchup, mustard, and ESPECIALLY mayonnaise), or dressings on it, request that they please not add it to your meal at all when you place the order. Additionally, a neat thing that people don't think to take advantage of is just how customizable these fast food places will allow you to get with your order- I've found that most places will happily make a special order of french fries for you if you request your fries with less salt (since most places usually salt their fries the moment they come out of the oil). Finally, you can still have soda, but I'd recommend limiting yourself to a bottle or a can (two at the most) of regular non-diet soda a day- again, an unbelievable amount of sugar, sodium, and calories gets crammed into these drinks, not to mention that their acid contents make them terribly bad for your teeth.

If you and/or your kids are overweight or obese, listen to me very closely- Obesity (see the BMI chart earlier in the post) is as serious a medical problem as being a smoker or alcohol abuser. It is not excusable, it is not acceptable, it cannot wait until tomorrow, and unless you're (or they're) taking Synthroid, it's not your thyroid. You have to make the decision to stay unhealthy or to sentence yourself to an early death. Every year, more research indicates a link between obesity and serious, life-changing, and expensive medical conditions, such as diabetes (type 2, AKA non insulin dependent diabetes mellitus, in most cases), Cancer(s), heart disease, lung disease, bone disease, joint disease, brain disease, increased mortality in traumatic events, increased amount of time to heal from serious medical and traumatic events, and more sudden and serious problems such as an acute myocardial infarction (not nearly as cute as the name implies, I daresay), stroke, and the particularly lethal Pulmonary Embolism. Much like smoking does, you see, obesity holds the door wide open for a mind-bogglingly huge number of diseases to march right in and kill you. If you're serious about losing your weight or helping your family members lose weight, ignore all the TV commercials, ignore all the 'folk cures' or people who approach you with what helped their cousin, can the over-the-counter diet pills (they're just water pills and caffeine, really. If they were anything worth your time, you'd better believe they'd have an FDA stamp of approval with trial data to back it up and more than a few pharma companies scrambling to buy up the rights to it), pay your family doctor a visit and be serious with him or her about wanting to lose weight now- set a goal, establish methods of reaching that goal, and check back in on a monthly basis so they can monitor your progress. Losing those extra pounds could be the best thing you can ever do for yourself- you won't just lower your disease risks, but you'll look better, and you'll definitely feel better- losing just 10 lbs can cause a significant lowering in your blood pressure (thus greatly reducing your cardiovascular risk), a stabilization of your blood sugars, and take as much as 40 lbs of pressure off your knees (each lb of weight you lose takes up toe 4 lbs of pressure off your knees).


If you smoke, or use tobacco in ANY form, including the so-called E-cigarettes, you're unnecessarily sending your disease risks through the roof. Your cardiovascular disease risk- that is, how at risk you are for a stroke or heart attack- is WELL beyond that of any normal person's, sometimes even beyond someone busily stuffing themselves with fat-dipped fat wrapped in fat with extra fat on the side. If you smoke and take birth control, your cardiovascular risk can be as high as thirty times that of a non-smoker! Forget any preachy letters or commercials you've ever seen and listen to me- tobacco products WILL KILL YOU. It won't kill you just a little bit sooner, but a LOT sooner. Point to all the exceptions to the rule you like, but for 99.9999% of the population, it's going to shave a whole 20 years off your life. You've heard it before, I'm sure, but look at it like this- if you got sentenced to prison for 20 years for no reason other than deciding to smoke once, would you be so nonchalant about it? Surely not, right? The trippy part is that there's no difference, except that hanging out in prison and getting free food, lodging, and healthcare for 20 years is probably only slightly less uncomfortable than dieing a slow, miserable death from lung cancer, or dieing a horribly painful, more swift death from supermassive pnuemonia. Just like losing extra weight, stopping smoking can be the best thing you'll ever do for yourself, and you'll save tons of cash to boot. If you've tried and failed, try again- stopping smoking is one of the hardest addictions to quit, even more difficult than overcoming a cocaine addiction. Seek out support groups on the internet to learn tips and tricks that others found to help them, seek help from your doctor- who I'm sure will scramble to provide you with as much help as you can tolerate-, learn the science behind it all to demystify the addiction, just don't give up. Now, I'm about to tell something that others may, perhaps, scorn me for, but there is a somewhat less unhealthy way to use tobacco- and that's to go and buy dried tobacco leaves directly from a farmer's market and roll them into cigarettes yourself, which cuts out tons of bad stuff that's in industrial cigarettes- but don't mistake this for an endorsement, nicotine use and using tobacco at all is still so unhealthy for you, it's unreal.



If you use alcohol on a regular basis, consider cutting back a little. Regular alcohol use can massively contribute to significant blood pressure and cardiovascular problems, liver damage and diseases, esophageal diseases, brain diseases (the most significant of which being Korsakoff's or Korsakov's psychosis, currently recognized as Wernicke-Korsakoff syndrome), heart diseases (including heart attack), traumatic problems (one such problem that alcohol users are famous for suffering is a subdural hematoma, where they've fallen or otherwise struck their head, initiated a slow, vein bleed in the linings of the brain, feel fine, and then die from massive intracrainial pressure hours to days later), and dozens of other assorted health issues such as contribution to obesity (as alcoholic beverages are often quite high in calories and carbohydrates). If your medication or doctor tells you not to take alcohol with your disease, just don't even tempt fate, seriously, there's usually a very good reason they tell you these things, so just drink a coke or something instead. You may want to try and keep it to a single serving (NOT BOTTLE) of alcohol per every other night or so. Yes, I know it's hard to make the healthy choice when you see how much fun everyone else is having being unable to think straight, falling off their stools, and lying in a puddle of their own vomit, but you'll thank yourself later, and so will your wallet.


Don't concern yourself TOO much with whatever latest study finds a link between something and cancer. Everything causes cancer- I've heard it all, from wearing flip-flops to flying to eating broccoli. I am of the conviction that oxygen causes cancer- after all, I'll wager you've never met anyone who wasn't breathing that got cancer. Still, you can take some simple steps to reduce your risk, such as getting regular mammograms or prostate exams once you've reached about 40 or so, eating the right foods, keeping a healthy weight, exercising regularly, and avoiding habits like alcoholism and smoking.

Protect yourself (don't worry, it's kid safe)- yeah, yeah, you've heard it millions of times already, if you're going to get busy, get protected. You should take it seriously, though. With all the nasty, ugly, and life-threatening diseases out there, many of which are communicable LONG before the person shows any symptoms, and considering how wrapping before you go packing is such an easy step to take these days, ignoring it would be like not locking your doors at night or when you leave the house- if something bad happens, you more than likely had it coming.

Finally, get some down-time every now and then- be it sleeping in an extra hour, or just relaxing with some good music, a puzzle, a game, or a good book. Most medical professionals can agree that unresolved and/or pent-up stress contributes to tons of bad things, such as irrational impatience or intolerance with friends or family members, high blood pressure, depression, weight-gain, decreased cognitive (thought) function, decreased immune function, and blah, blah, and blah. Sleeping in an extra hour can not only make you feel good, it's also good for your heart- as studies show that people who regularly sleep in an extra hour have generally better heart health than those who don't. Getting a full night's sleep can be therapeutic both physically and psychologically, and for a society with so little respect for sleep, I think we'd all be bowled over with how much better we'd feel (and how much healthier we'd be) all around if we'd stop making excuses and allow ourselves a full 8-hour sleep every night. Reading regularly and doing puzzles can keep your brain sharp (it's as much a muscle as your... muscles. Use it or lose it, people!) while teaching you a thing or two and empowering you with new and interesting information. Setting aside a little bit of time at some point in the day for a 15-minute catnap can really put a new spring in your step, as can taking the time to relax by yourself for 20 minutes or so at the start and finish of each day (perhaps while walking?). The point is, find a little bit of time to relax each day, and I'm sure you'll be surprised at how much better you feel at the end of the week.


Now, we'll wrap things up with the very first Ambuslap award. What is an ambuslap? It can be defined two ways: 1. The slap someone, be it a police officer, a bystander, a firefighter, even a somewhat less-than-competent EMT, delivers to the rear doors of an ambulance after loading the patient and closing said doors, resulting in a series of loud banging sounds that may startle the patient and/or cause the attending paramedic to unleash (or restrain) righteous fury towards the ambuslapper- OR 2. The result of an act, deed, thought, belief, or other similar method by which a degree of ignorance or stupidity is displayed to make the displayer a worthy target of some bored EMTs with too much time and/or red hair on their hands. The ambuslap awards lend themselves to the second definition. Now that we're clear on what the ambuslaps are about, let's give a big round of applause to the very first in a long, long line of winners of this prestigious award: Poison Ivy (Wo)man! You know him or her- in fact, you may be him or her-, they're that person that spots the telltale pink of the calamine lotion or notices the rash, and, before you can bolt for the nearest escape, begins bombarding you with unwanted, useless home remedies you've never heard of but reportedly worked for their mutant cousin. The gesture's appreciated since it shows empathy, but you know it's probably just a coincidence that their rash went away the day after they buried the potato under a full moon before swinging a dead cat over their head seven times while pouring beer over it. Besides, the last thing someone who's REALLY hurting from the rash wants to hear is how slathering themselves in sour milk, mustard, vinegar, or other human repellants will REALLY WORK, YOU SHOULD TRY IT, STAY HERE AND LET ME GET YOU SOME. If your rash doesn't get under control in less than a week, continues to spread despite continued efforts to control it with *AHEM* FDA-approved methods such as calamine lotion to dry it up and provide releif, benadryl (Diphenhydramine HCL) to control the itching and swelling, and ibuprofin to control the pain and swelling, if it's on over 10% of your body (estimate using your palm- each full palm of rash area equals 1%), or if it's extensively on your face, you need to call your doctor's office right away and schedule an urgent appointment so he can set you up with some steroids to control the swelling and something to relieve the pain. Also, not getting a rash in response to poison ivy exposure (you lucky dog) doesn't mean you're immune to it- it's quite the opposite, actually, since the rash is really just your immune system going into overdrive to try and fight the oily Urushiol for no good reason than to fight it.

Microbe Meltdown: The truth about bacteria, viruses, superbugs, and other things that go bump in the media

From an insider's perspective looking out, the closest thing I can relate our 'war on microbes' to is a classic greek tragedy, in which the hero (modern medicine) has seen the future (vicious microbes killing people), and in an overzealous attempt to prevent that future, they end up inadvertently fulfilling it. The first world is one that's terrified itself into a stupor over microbes, obsessing itself with being clean, germ-free, sanitary, and therefor healthy. We're surrounded up to our ears in anti-bacterial soaps, sanitizing solutions, antiseptics, UV irradiator vents (harmless to people because the vents block the UV light escaping when installed correctly), more and more antibiotics, antivirals, and many other anti-microbial innovations. What's more is that while the proverbial sea level of sanitation innovation rises, we seem all too ready to drown in it. It's no coincidence that as our collective anti-microbial efforts have reached an all-time high, we're seeing more and more aptly-named 'superbugs'. Of course, whenever the media runs out of terrorists, politicians from the opposing party, or dead celebrities, they fall back on scaring you into more anti-microbial products by sharing ghastly tales of bacteria with a hearty, heaping slathering on of exaggerations of the truth- invisible boogeymen, as they would have it, that strike heartlessly and at complete random to inflict much pain, suffering, and media attention on innocent people.

So does this mean that the media's to blame for the same superbugs it speaks out about? Yes, they can carry some of the blame for this problem, but only some. They were- and still are- really just one of many contributors to the superbug issue. Other sources of the problem can be traced to the medical profession- for practically inundating anyone with anything with enough antibiotics to stock an apocalypse shelter until we figured out that maaaaybe that wasn't the best course of action-, the public- for a general lack of education on the matter, not bothering to investigate any deeper than what the TV told them, and for buying into the whole thing-, and some pharmaceutical/health industry corporations- for promoting the belief that all 'germs' are evil and require elimenation for a healthy lifestyle, allowing them to push their antimicrobial products. Don't get me wrong, they've all got their uses and probably all had good intentions, but it's gone off the rails and started us down a bad path.

Now, you may be wondering, "Just what IS a 'superbug'?" Well, a so-called superbug is a malicious bacteria that's been forced into a sort of evolution by the overuse and inadvertent misuse of antibiotics and, in some cases, antivirals. Anyone who was prescribed antibiotics and only took them until they felt better instead of finishing off their whole course has probably created a superbug and never known it. The reason for this is that because the antibiotics helped kill off most of the bacteria, enough to turn things in your immune system's favor and thus leading to an easing of symptoms, but because you stopped taking the antibiotics, you didn't kill the strongest, more antibiotic-resistant bugs, thus allowing them to make more antibiotic-resistant kids. Eventually, this process repeats itself enough times to create a bacteria that's practically invulnerable to that particular antibiotic and/or related antibiotics. Now, to clarify, this process isn't just limited to medicinal antibiotics- it can also conceivably apply to antibiotic and antiseptic soaps, or any other substance, device, or process designed to kill microorganisms, as they're similar concepts.

So, does this mean that we need to abandon antibiotics completely in order to save ourselves? No, absolutely not. Antibiotics are absolutely a positive force in the medical field, and we've already gotten too far in over our heads to turn back now. What we can do, however, is take some simple, painless steps to avoid creating superbugs. First and foremost, when you or your child/dependent is prescribed antibiotics, make sure that you take all of them exactly as directed until you run out or your doctor/medical warnings (such as those sometimes packed with your prescriptions) tell you to stop. Next, if you're going to use hand sanitizer, make sure that when you apply it, your rub your hands as if washing them until all of the solution has dried up- when you fan your hands or blow on them to make the solution dry faster, you're actually making it ineffective by causing it to dry up too fast and not giving it a chance to kill the tougher bacteria. Also, you should choose washing your hands over using hand sanitizer whenever possible- handwashing is still the most effective method of controlling the spread of pathogens, so use some soap and warm water (as hot as you can tolerate for the duration of the wash), work the soap into a nice lather up to your wrists, make sure to get under your fingernails with the soap because they make wonderful hides for some of the nastiest bugs, then rinse off with the water travelling down towards your fingertips, touch anything that need be touched with your elbow if possible, and use the paper towel you dried your hands with to open the door before canning it on your way out. Finally, if you've got sores, don't pick at them. The reasoning here is that Staphylocaucus and its steroid abusing brother MRSA (Methicillin Resistant Staph. Aureus) just LOVE open sores, and tend to get transferred- almost injected- into them whenever you turn a pimple or a scab into an open sore again- brought in from under your fingernails, especially after you've picked at your nose.

Now, next on our list is Viruses; I'm not going to be doing much talking about Swine Flu because the data I've reviewed thus far indicates that H1N1 is even less dangerous than the average seasonal influenza, however I will tell you how to avoid (or at least drastically lower your chances of) getting the flu or whatever other viruses are floating around. Note that I'm talking from experience here- I successfully made it all the way through both halves of last flu season without so much as the sniffles. The first, and quite possibly most effective, step you can take is to start carrying your own pen with you everywhere you go. Most people are caught off guard by this, but seriously think about how many times each day you have to put your signature on something- a contract, a credit card receipt, a document- and now imagine how many people have touched that borrowed pen before you, knowing full well that at least one was probably sick, sneezed, coughed, or snotted into their hands, and then never washed them. The casheir's pen is possibly the filthiest object in any given store, and during the flu season, it surely becomes a virus magnet. In fact, any object, such as a doorknob, handrail, arcade controller, or even a popular book in a bookstore can become a trap waiting to spring. If you couldn't avoid exposure to one of these 'hot spots' by nudging the door open with your foot, shoulder, or elbow, or couldn't resist the urge to grab onto the handrail, then the best course of action to take is to duck into the next bathroom you run across and wash your hands- taking care not to touch your face until after you've washed up, as that's usually the port by which the virus enters. If a bathroom isn't immediately available but some hand sanitizer is, go ahead and use that- just be sure to rub your hands together until it dries up. Finally, encourage yourself and others to sneeze into their shoulders, upper arms, the bends in their elbows, or thick tissues instead of their hands, because sneezing into your hands is little short of just shoving your hands in a big bowl full of virus and then resuming normal activity in society.

Another wonderful tool to fall back on is vaccinations. Every year, the appropriate officials review the data to predict what flu strains are likely to be the dominant strains that year and then create and supply the appropriate vaccines to clinics, hospitals, health departments, and even pharmacies in some cases. If you have regularly contact with the sick, the elderly, the very young (I'd reckon about 8 to 10 and younger), regular smokers, or work in a high-contact or high-traffic area like an airport, a wal-mart, or anywhere that you lend pens to people, you should definitely get vaccinated to help avoid the spread of the flu. The part about vaccinations that people don't usually know is that you should actually get two vaccinations through flu season- one in early season and one in late season- because the flu is a highly mutation-prone virus, and by the time late season rolls around, a different virus may be the dominantly spreading virus, thus allowing you to catch the flu twice or despite a vaccine.

Now, there are people that insist that vaccines are bad for you, and I can assure you that, based on our current understanding, vaccines are perfectly okay and you should get them for you and your kids to prevent quite serious illness. You may have heard an argument that there's no point in getting vaccinated for something that's been declared eradicated in your country, but with international travel now a very common staple of our global society, we're seeing a resurgence of viruses that we had successfully starved to death in our country, but not in others (See: Measles). In other cases, we're facing a more constant threat of viruses or bacteria we haven't eradicated, such as those bacteria/viruses which cause meningitis, the Clostridium Tetani bacteria (AKA, the bug that causes Tetanus, 'Lockjaw', etc.), and the Hepatitis Viruses. Vaccines do not cause 'evolutionary immune system stupidity' (the argument that getting vaccinated instead of getting sick will cause the genetic code for our immune systems to be inadequate for future forms of the virus or other similar scenarios) in later generations simply because getting vaccinated IS getting exposed to the virus, albeit a very weak, inactivated, or dead form of the virus, which is roughly the same thing as what specialized white blood cells will provide your immune system with to make antibodies for in a non-vaccinated scenario. Vaccines are also safer these days, as we've learned our lesson from Guillon-Barre syndrome, though you should be aware that there is no medical treatment that is without risks. Finally, vaccines absolutely do not contain government mind-control solutions, nanomachines, or chips. I should know, being th- GOD BLESS AMERICA or else.

Prescriptions and You: Staying safe on your pharmaceuticals and using them to their full effect

Okay, so you may be asking yourself why I'm writing on this particular topic- it seems pretty idiot-proof, right? "Just take your stuff as prescribed, don't deviate, you'll be fine," you might mentally recite. Well, that's true, but it's not the whole truth. Pharmaceutical drugs, even when you take them exactly as prescribed, can open up a number of very dangerous complications for you- particularly if you allow yourself to remain unaware. Not only can pharmaceuticals pose an unknown hazard to your well-being (irony, innit?), but there are also measures that you could or should take when taking your prescription that could lessen side-effects or help the drug be more effective at doing it's job. Even more noteworthy is that some drugs may interact with common over-the-counter drugs and cause problems- sometimes quite serious- for you. Unfortunately, these important bits of information tend to fall through the cracks a lot more than they really should these days. So, to inform you of what to- and how to- educate yourself on your prescriptions, I'm writing this article.

First, we need to discuss what's important- that is, what is the information you should know about your drug? Instead of bombarding you with a huge, bland list that I'd otherwise recommend that you scribble down on a piece of paper next time you're about to go see your doc, I'll give you something a bit more user friendly, as well as cheesy. I'm giving you a mnemonic- SAFER.

S is for Special considerations. What this is about is asking if there are any activities- vigorous exercise, operating vehicles or machinery, staring at flashing lights, et cetera- that you need to avoid, any extra steps that you should take (such as drinking more or less water), or if there are any situations that should make you particularly cautious about this drug- such as liver/kidney disease, pregnancy, other ongoing diseases or changes in health, and other prescriptions that you might be taking. Side-effects also fall under this category. Feel free to subtract or add to this list as is specific to you. The reasons you need to know about this are that pharmaceuticals can sometimes agitate, cause, or be completely inappropriate for, some conditions. This is especially true for pregnancy, which can make the taking of some prescriptions highly unsafe. Do note that if you do have an ongoing condition such as an allergy to a drug or food, a disease like diabetes, an ongoing pregnancy, you may want to look into obtaining a 'medic-alert tag'.

The number of things that sit in this category is practically infinite, ranging from giving false positives on drug tests to turning your skin blue. Don't worry as much about memorizing these- your physician will usually be able to tell you about these considerations when prompted to if he didn't tell you before.

A is for All drugs, pharmaceutical, over-the-counter, and recreational.

Sometimes, as with epinephrine and cocaine (You know who you are), some drugs- prescribed or not- just do not mix. A number of different things can occur, but more commonly you'll see: a blocking of intended effects, the two (or more) drugs acting together to create an effect greater than the sum of their parts, drugs acting together to create a greater effect than the single drug could have, the drugs interacting to create a completely unintended or unexpected effect, and/or one drug allowing another to be considerably more effective. I know this doesn't sound dangerous, but all one needs to do anymore is point to a picture of Heath Ledger. It killed him, and it can kill you. If you're legally taking prescription drugs, or if you plan on or might take recreational drugs- this DOES include tobacco (cigarettes, chew, dip, whatever, it's all nicotine) and especially alcohol- you need to state them to your doctor so he knows to warn you against taking certain drugs while on that medication. Your physician may even go so far as to completely change what drug they plan on prescribing you based on this information.
One more very important thing to remember is to ask about over-the-counter drugs. A lot of people don't even think twice about it, but you could be taking a serious risk with your well being by not checking to see if the over-the-counter drug you're looking at is safe to take with your prescription. As things are unpredictable, I'd like to point out that even if you can't ask your doctor, you can ask a pharmacist at any drug store, and they'll be able to tell you if it's safe, and if it's not, provide you with alternatives.

F is for Freebie, as in, adjust this one according to your own specific needs and considerations (such as, but not limited to: pregnancy, foreign travel, on-the-job duties).

E is for Emergency Considerations
Some drugs can cause unique complications for both yourself when attempting to medicate for a known problem- such as hypersensitivity (the infamous 'peanut allergy' where someone's deathly allergic to something) or asthma- as well as for EMS and the emergency department. Drugs can either complicate an existing problem or create an entirely new one on their own- especially if care providers, unaware that you take a certain drug, end up giving you something that would cause a fatal or harmful reaction. A wonderful example of this are beta-blocker drugs, often used to help control blood pressure and heart rates. If you're on beta-blockers and have an asthma attack, you could end up hitting your albuterol inhaler multiple times with little to no change in your condition. That's because, as seen in the 'A' section, the beta-blockers actually block the sites in your nervous system where the albuterol 'plugs in' to ease your asthma attack. This could obviously cause very serious problems, so you need to discuss the possibility of this drug to contribute to an emergency with your physician and, if it's deemed necessary, even carry readily accessible information on you that you take that drug.

R is for Red Flags
There may be times where it will be absolutely necessary that you stop taking a drug right away, maybe even seek immediate medical attention. These sorts of things may not even be listed on your drug's typical warning labels- though it's still worth looking at- but listed as sneaking suspicions in medical journals. Make sure that you ask your doctor if there are any 'alarm signs', such as a sudden fever or bouts of an especially fast heart rate, that you need to be aware of to tell you that you either need to stop taking the drug right away or need to seek medical attention to be seen if it's still safe, if not both. Be familiar with them as long as you're taking that prescription.

Now, let's talk information resources. The first place you go, where you get your prescription, is also your best resource- your physician. When you first go to your doctor with your complaints and he prescribes you something, take the time to ask him about it. He knows these things, and he's probably read up on it, otherwise he'd have no business prescribing it to you. Most doctors will resist the urge to bolt out of the room and see the next patient long enough to answer any questions you may have, so don't be intimidated by his hurry to leave or brief, sharp answers. I'm not saying "be rude", and mind that some drugs are perfectly safe, but don't let their rush deny you the vital education you need when taking a prescription.

A good resource, possibly even better than your doctor, is your pharmacist. No matter the drug store, they have to have a licensed pharmacist on board or they're not legal to be filling prescriptions. Just ask to speak with them, and ask away. This is especially convenient if you feel you need an over-the-counter drug, and your physician is, indeed, still a physician, and thus unavailable to answer your questions without an appointment.

If all else fails, and even if you did ask, I'd recommend doing research online or in a physician's desk reference (commonly abbreviated PDR). You're likely to run into a good deal of junk data, but you should also be able to find valuable little nuggets of information that you otherwise wouldn't have learned. Just google or look up the name of your prescription, pick a website (if you're online. I, personally, have no preference as far as these sorts of websites go,) and read up. Easy as that.

Finally, a few quick notes:
-Take your meds as prescribed unless told otherwise.
-If you're on antibiotics, finish them! (unless told otherwise)
-If you're on drugs to control a condition or infection like Tuberculosis, Malaria, or HIV, do NOT discontinue use. It can and does make these get big, ugly, and grow bigger teeth.

When ya gonna call?

Just a quick aside- I'm working on finding more choice words, but if my proofreading has missed a profane word, please forgive it. Also, as to my background, I am an EMT-Intermediate '85', undergoing Paramedic training as of the time of this writing. I've decided to dedicate a blog specifically to providing what I'm quite sure are some fresh and valuable tips to you, the patient, on how to utilize the system in the US to its fullest. Please be aware, however, that when I speak of how a system operates, I speak in generalizations and operations can vary from locale to locale- thus, my statements may be inaccurate for your area. Please take the time to learn the details about your local emergency system. Also, if there are any questions, I'll do my best to address them within reason, so feel free to ask.

This first article is about when and when not to call for Emergency Medical Services (or more simply: 911, EMS, an ambulance, the paramedics, etc.). My reasons for choosing this as the first article- after a bit of debating between this one and 'A trip to the doctor's office'- come from my remembering that before my medical training, I really didn't know what the line was between what constituted an emergency and what didn't. I remember a few situations where I wondered to myself, in stalemate, whether or not I should call for an ambulance or not. In today's densely-packed society, the likelihood that any of you, if not all of you indeed, may encounter or, heaven forbid, have an emergency in the next few years is extremely high. Assuming that the rest of you are like I was, and couldn't actually decide between there being an emergency or not, I'm writing this so that you can be prepared and can properly identify an emergency early on and possibly save a life.

First, what constitutes an emergency? Well, there's quite a few answers, but here's a great rule of thumb: Any significant deviation from someone's normal status of existence. For example, if someone hasn't just had inexplicable and horrific chest pain their whole life, and they suddenly develop persisting and bad chest pain, you need to really watch them, because that's one major sign of an emergency. If a person who's usually pretty much like a normal person in the middle of the day suddenly starts getting confused, mentally 'slow', sleepy, and/or generally acting strange, chances are that it's an emergency and you need to call EMS. Here's a few solid guidelines of an emergency, along with explanations.

- If someone has had a persisting fever for three days OR has a fever over 103 F; that's 39.4 C for those of you who don't use Fahrenheit (see: Everyone). The reason for this is that it's an indicator of a very serious infection, be it viral, bacterial, or fungal. Also, the very high, persistent fever can be extremely dangerous to the brain and other body organs.

- If someone's having trouble breathing, especially if it's spontaneous. If they know what it is and can manage it with their own inhaler or other methods, then allow them to do so. However, stay attentive- if it doesn't resolve with self-treatment, and they're clearly having a lot of difficulty breathing (you can see their head moving back and forth from how hard they're working their chest muscles, you can hear loud wheezing sounds, they're leaning way forward, they can only talk to you one or two words at a time, you can see their nostrils flaring, you can see them using their neck/shoulder muscles to try and help them breathe, and ESPECIALLY if their lips start to turn blue) then you need to start picking up the phone. Stay nearby so that you'll know if the situation gets better or they stop breathing, in which case the dispatcher will be able to provide you with instruction on how to help until EMS arrives. Also related is if you find them not breathing or if they start choking. Call EMS IMMEDIATELY when you see that someone's choking (IE: Can't cough, can't breathe, can't talk, clearly struggling) because sometimes things like the Heimlich maneuver don't work and require more advanced interventions.

- If someone is completely unresponsive (meaning that you've tried to wake them by calling to them and that you've tried to wake them by pain stimulus such as pinching their fingernail against their finger) or is very lethargic or confused, particularly if it's clear that they shouldn't be. This should immediately start throwing red flags and cause you to start checking to see that they're still breathing or still have a pulse. If you can't stir them, or they look pale, sick, sweaty, or unusual in some other way, then you need to start dialing for an ambulance.

- If someone has a seizure. Of course, I'm referring to the classic Tonic-Clonic seizure that everyone immediately thinks of when you say 'seizure'. True, people have conditions that can induce seizures regularly, but they usually have medications that almost completely control it, so they shouldn't be having one in the first place. So, yes, call EMS. If they don't have epilepsy or other seizure-inducing conditions, then you should have absolutely no doubt whatsoever that it's an emergency and NEED to tell the medics about it when they arrive. Also, be careful to note if they hit their head on anything if they fell over. The reason seizures are such a big deal is that they can be an indicator of very serious underlying conditions, not to mention that they don't breathe at all during the extent of the seizure, so they could be suffering from dangerously low oxygen levels.

- If someone becomes suddenly confused or starts acting strange (particularly if they start acting drunk without actually being drunk) and it doesn't immediately resolve, you need to be reaching for that phone. Like seizures, it can be a sign of a very serious underlying condition that could be immediately hazardous to their health. Also similar would be if they spontaneously lose consciousness or fall out, even if they return to consciousness right away and especially if they hit their head on the way down.

- If someone has a new or sudden onset of severe, persisting (see: lasts more than a few seconds at a whack and clearly isn't something like muscle pain. If someone tries to pass off a very, very bad chest pain as indigestion, you need to remain skeptical about it, as denial is even considered to be 'classic' in the heart attack patient) pain, particularly in the chest and/or abdomen. There are a plethora of reasons for this, and almost all of them are very serious.

- If someone is found to be without a pulse and isn't decomposing (there are other ways to tell if it's far too late to resuscitate them, but those are better left to those trained to recognize it). Absolutely call 911, every, single, time.

- If someone starts vomiting or otherwise excreting blood in ways that they really shouldn't be (also, black, tarry, and sometimes face-meltingly bad smelling stool is a sign of a lower GI-bleed, which is also an emergency).

- If someone has been vomiting excessively for three days or more, thus unable to keep anything, even water, down. One day may pass, two days is on the fence and understandable if you call, three days should leave no question because now they're getting very dehydrated, first and foremost.

- If they've got an illness (like asthma or allergic reactions) that you're aware of and it's worse than you've ever seen it get before or it's getting to a clearly life-threatening point.

- Suicide threats should always result in a call to emergency services and should never -EVER- be shrugged off.

- If you're seriously debating on whether or not to call EMS, you should probably call. You can always ask the dispatcher to cancel the response if things get better.

- Trauma is a bit trickier to deal with, so bear with me. If they fell from three times their height or more (only twice their height for children), hit anything on the way down, hit their head/neck, or are clearly injured from the fall, who ya gonna call? Also, any car crash should always result in EMS being called (Unless all occupants assure you otherwise or the crash was clearly minor with minimal, if any, damage), particularly if the cars struck going in opposing directions. If someone hits their head hard enough to create a lump, cause bleeding, or cause them to lose consciousness, call EMS and insist that they seek treatment (mind that you can't hold them there because that's false imprisonment). If they were involved in an accident and broke a bone, the car rolled over, another involved person was killed, another involved person was ejected, or the cars or plainly mangled wrecks, it's time to call. If an eye was put out, call. ANY motorcycle crash needs to have EMS called. If anything was amputated, call. If they're bleeding and you can't immediately control it, they've lost/are losing a lot of blood really quick, have extensive injuries, or are spurting bright red blood, call. If they were burned (excluding all but the worst sunburn) over at least 1/8 of their body or had been on fire, had been inside of a structure while it was on fire, are still on fire, have burns around their lips, have a hoarse voice after being involved with a fire, or have burns with blackened/white and waxy charred skin, you need to call. If someone complains of neck or back pain after an accident or injury, you NEED to call.

- All of this goes doubly sensitive for children and elderly.

- If you smell alcohol on their breath but they're giving the impression that they may be having a medical emergency, such as having a large bruise on their head or stating that they're having chest pain, it's just safer to assume it's not the alcohol talking and call. Now, understand that it can be very difficult to tell if an intoxicated person is having an emergency or not because alcohol can mask a lot of signs and symptoms very well, as well as causing the person to answer questions inappropriately, so just be safe rather than sorry.

- If you notice a lot of people all passed out or behaving unusually in a certain area (ex: you walk in the mall to see everyone slumped onto the floor, everyone passed out or acting strangely inside of a neighbor's house, etc.), then you both need to get out posthaste AND call, because there's a very good chance that there's a hazardous materials incident (carbon monoxide in the case of the 'neighbor' example) happening. Also, call right away if there's an explosion of any sort that wasn't supposed to happen, if a tanker truck has overturned or crashed, if you notice any unusual clouds or smoke leaving a structure or vehicle, or any strong unusual smells- especially if you're in a location that handles chemicals, such as a home utility store.

- If they tell you to call 911, don't you even dare second-guess them. Do it.

- Pregnant woman in full, strong, late labor. EMS has the tools to help safely deliver a baby and handle any complications that may ensue. A taxi driver or a department store does not.

I know it's a lot, and I don't at all expect you lot to memorize the whole list, but if you even take a little bit away from this, it's going to help a lot.

Also, a quick note of the Dont's.

- Don't call EMS to take you to your doctor's office. We are EMERGENCY medical services, we do not take people to their doctor's offices. If you fake a problem- thinking it'll get you to your doctor's- you're going to the ER anyway. Not only do you put undue strain on a system that's spread thin in a lot of places to begin with, but you put other people's well-being at risk. This also goes for trips to the pharmacy and to visit relatives in the hospital as well as anything else of that sort. Just call a cab, they're at least $500 cheaper and you won't be putting anyone else's life at risk by stretching a thin resource even thinner.

- Don't call us because someone tapped your bumper and you think you're going to get more insurance money that way. People actually do this, and see above for why not to. Besides, it makes you look like a drama whore, and it makes you a drain on the system, both financially and logistically. If you're honestly in pain- honestly in need- that's fine, that's what we're here for. Otherwise, find some other way to abuse the system.

- If you need non-emergency transport to a specialized facility, don't call 911. Many ambulance services will have private, non-emergency numbers which you can use to schedule a non-911 truck to take you.

- We are not a rolling pharmacy. We cannot (excepting the UK's Paramedic Practitioner) hand out something for your headache or fever because we can't prescribe medications. There are a number of reasons for this policy, but the most important of them is because we don't want to disguise the symptoms of what could be a serious underlying condition and end up inadvertently causing more harm by allowing the condition to continue unrecognized.

- Don't turn away EMS because you're stubborn. If you're having an emergency, you need to go. Many a person has made themselves beyond help because they tried to tell themselves that their crushing chest pain was just indigestion for a good three days before finally admitting, well past any window for recovery, that it's something else. I understand money's tight these days, but you can't earn, save, or spend money if you're dead.