Microbe Meltdown: The truth about bacteria, viruses, superbugs, and other things that go bump in the media

From an insider's perspective looking out, the closest thing I can relate our 'war on microbes' to is a classic greek tragedy, in which the hero (modern medicine) has seen the future (vicious microbes killing people), and in an overzealous attempt to prevent that future, they end up inadvertently fulfilling it. The first world is one that's terrified itself into a stupor over microbes, obsessing itself with being clean, germ-free, sanitary, and therefor healthy. We're surrounded up to our ears in anti-bacterial soaps, sanitizing solutions, antiseptics, UV irradiator vents (harmless to people because the vents block the UV light escaping when installed correctly), more and more antibiotics, antivirals, and many other anti-microbial innovations. What's more is that while the proverbial sea level of sanitation innovation rises, we seem all too ready to drown in it. It's no coincidence that as our collective anti-microbial efforts have reached an all-time high, we're seeing more and more aptly-named 'superbugs'. Of course, whenever the media runs out of terrorists, politicians from the opposing party, or dead celebrities, they fall back on scaring you into more anti-microbial products by sharing ghastly tales of bacteria with a hearty, heaping slathering on of exaggerations of the truth- invisible boogeymen, as they would have it, that strike heartlessly and at complete random to inflict much pain, suffering, and media attention on innocent people.

So does this mean that the media's to blame for the same superbugs it speaks out about? Yes, they can carry some of the blame for this problem, but only some. They were- and still are- really just one of many contributors to the superbug issue. Other sources of the problem can be traced to the medical profession- for practically inundating anyone with anything with enough antibiotics to stock an apocalypse shelter until we figured out that maaaaybe that wasn't the best course of action-, the public- for a general lack of education on the matter, not bothering to investigate any deeper than what the TV told them, and for buying into the whole thing-, and some pharmaceutical/health industry corporations- for promoting the belief that all 'germs' are evil and require elimenation for a healthy lifestyle, allowing them to push their antimicrobial products. Don't get me wrong, they've all got their uses and probably all had good intentions, but it's gone off the rails and started us down a bad path.

Now, you may be wondering, "Just what IS a 'superbug'?" Well, a so-called superbug is a malicious bacteria that's been forced into a sort of evolution by the overuse and inadvertent misuse of antibiotics and, in some cases, antivirals. Anyone who was prescribed antibiotics and only took them until they felt better instead of finishing off their whole course has probably created a superbug and never known it. The reason for this is that because the antibiotics helped kill off most of the bacteria, enough to turn things in your immune system's favor and thus leading to an easing of symptoms, but because you stopped taking the antibiotics, you didn't kill the strongest, more antibiotic-resistant bugs, thus allowing them to make more antibiotic-resistant kids. Eventually, this process repeats itself enough times to create a bacteria that's practically invulnerable to that particular antibiotic and/or related antibiotics. Now, to clarify, this process isn't just limited to medicinal antibiotics- it can also conceivably apply to antibiotic and antiseptic soaps, or any other substance, device, or process designed to kill microorganisms, as they're similar concepts.

So, does this mean that we need to abandon antibiotics completely in order to save ourselves? No, absolutely not. Antibiotics are absolutely a positive force in the medical field, and we've already gotten too far in over our heads to turn back now. What we can do, however, is take some simple, painless steps to avoid creating superbugs. First and foremost, when you or your child/dependent is prescribed antibiotics, make sure that you take all of them exactly as directed until you run out or your doctor/medical warnings (such as those sometimes packed with your prescriptions) tell you to stop. Next, if you're going to use hand sanitizer, make sure that when you apply it, your rub your hands as if washing them until all of the solution has dried up- when you fan your hands or blow on them to make the solution dry faster, you're actually making it ineffective by causing it to dry up too fast and not giving it a chance to kill the tougher bacteria. Also, you should choose washing your hands over using hand sanitizer whenever possible- handwashing is still the most effective method of controlling the spread of pathogens, so use some soap and warm water (as hot as you can tolerate for the duration of the wash), work the soap into a nice lather up to your wrists, make sure to get under your fingernails with the soap because they make wonderful hides for some of the nastiest bugs, then rinse off with the water travelling down towards your fingertips, touch anything that need be touched with your elbow if possible, and use the paper towel you dried your hands with to open the door before canning it on your way out. Finally, if you've got sores, don't pick at them. The reasoning here is that Staphylocaucus and its steroid abusing brother MRSA (Methicillin Resistant Staph. Aureus) just LOVE open sores, and tend to get transferred- almost injected- into them whenever you turn a pimple or a scab into an open sore again- brought in from under your fingernails, especially after you've picked at your nose.

Now, next on our list is Viruses; I'm not going to be doing much talking about Swine Flu because the data I've reviewed thus far indicates that H1N1 is even less dangerous than the average seasonal influenza, however I will tell you how to avoid (or at least drastically lower your chances of) getting the flu or whatever other viruses are floating around. Note that I'm talking from experience here- I successfully made it all the way through both halves of last flu season without so much as the sniffles. The first, and quite possibly most effective, step you can take is to start carrying your own pen with you everywhere you go. Most people are caught off guard by this, but seriously think about how many times each day you have to put your signature on something- a contract, a credit card receipt, a document- and now imagine how many people have touched that borrowed pen before you, knowing full well that at least one was probably sick, sneezed, coughed, or snotted into their hands, and then never washed them. The casheir's pen is possibly the filthiest object in any given store, and during the flu season, it surely becomes a virus magnet. In fact, any object, such as a doorknob, handrail, arcade controller, or even a popular book in a bookstore can become a trap waiting to spring. If you couldn't avoid exposure to one of these 'hot spots' by nudging the door open with your foot, shoulder, or elbow, or couldn't resist the urge to grab onto the handrail, then the best course of action to take is to duck into the next bathroom you run across and wash your hands- taking care not to touch your face until after you've washed up, as that's usually the port by which the virus enters. If a bathroom isn't immediately available but some hand sanitizer is, go ahead and use that- just be sure to rub your hands together until it dries up. Finally, encourage yourself and others to sneeze into their shoulders, upper arms, the bends in their elbows, or thick tissues instead of their hands, because sneezing into your hands is little short of just shoving your hands in a big bowl full of virus and then resuming normal activity in society.

Another wonderful tool to fall back on is vaccinations. Every year, the appropriate officials review the data to predict what flu strains are likely to be the dominant strains that year and then create and supply the appropriate vaccines to clinics, hospitals, health departments, and even pharmacies in some cases. If you have regularly contact with the sick, the elderly, the very young (I'd reckon about 8 to 10 and younger), regular smokers, or work in a high-contact or high-traffic area like an airport, a wal-mart, or anywhere that you lend pens to people, you should definitely get vaccinated to help avoid the spread of the flu. The part about vaccinations that people don't usually know is that you should actually get two vaccinations through flu season- one in early season and one in late season- because the flu is a highly mutation-prone virus, and by the time late season rolls around, a different virus may be the dominantly spreading virus, thus allowing you to catch the flu twice or despite a vaccine.

Now, there are people that insist that vaccines are bad for you, and I can assure you that, based on our current understanding, vaccines are perfectly okay and you should get them for you and your kids to prevent quite serious illness. You may have heard an argument that there's no point in getting vaccinated for something that's been declared eradicated in your country, but with international travel now a very common staple of our global society, we're seeing a resurgence of viruses that we had successfully starved to death in our country, but not in others (See: Measles). In other cases, we're facing a more constant threat of viruses or bacteria we haven't eradicated, such as those bacteria/viruses which cause meningitis, the Clostridium Tetani bacteria (AKA, the bug that causes Tetanus, 'Lockjaw', etc.), and the Hepatitis Viruses. Vaccines do not cause 'evolutionary immune system stupidity' (the argument that getting vaccinated instead of getting sick will cause the genetic code for our immune systems to be inadequate for future forms of the virus or other similar scenarios) in later generations simply because getting vaccinated IS getting exposed to the virus, albeit a very weak, inactivated, or dead form of the virus, which is roughly the same thing as what specialized white blood cells will provide your immune system with to make antibodies for in a non-vaccinated scenario. Vaccines are also safer these days, as we've learned our lesson from Guillon-Barre syndrome, though you should be aware that there is no medical treatment that is without risks. Finally, vaccines absolutely do not contain government mind-control solutions, nanomachines, or chips. I should know, being th- GOD BLESS AMERICA or else.